Culture shock timeline

Yes, I know that three posts in as many days is slightly unusual for me, but for those of you keeping track, I thought you should know that the end of the "honeymoon period" has officially been clocked at 4 weeks, 3 days, and some-odd hours. I should probably wait to write about this until I have a bit more distance, but the highlights include:

-Resisting the urge to yell at a sales clerk who insisted on speaking to me in (very poor) English. Yes, I know what the "carte de fidelite" is. Yes, I already know that it's free, I understood you better the first time when you explained this in French. No, I still don't want it, nor do I appreciate you informing me that you can tell I'm from Chicago from my accent. It's none of your business, and I certainly didn't ask!

-A humiliating sequence of events in my Arabic class that started when I got stuck with the one other American in the class as my partner (she's a full-time Sciences Po grad student, but both my French and Arabic are stronger than hers so I end up helping her a lot) for a skit, and ended with the professor apologizing to the class for us by saying, "Oh, it's supposed to be funny. It's very American," after she apparently offended everyone with a reference to Hitler (it's a long story, but her character in the skit had a mustache, and the one she made out of paper was inadvertently very Hitler-esque) that I didn't even notice at the time.

-Being called a hypocrite by my host mother when I explained (in what was meant to be a light-hearted comment) that I don't drink wine at home, except for at church, because I'm not legally of age. Granted, that is taken out of context -- she was laughing as she said it -- but still. She called me a hypocrite to my face.

It's so frustrating because a lot of good things happened today, too. I slept in. I did some work in my Georgetown Arabic book, which was lovely because it felt so familiar. I sorted out some confusion over an assignment with one of my professors. I had a nice conversation with a French student from one of my classes, and she invited me to dinner with some of her friends. I couldn't go because I had Arabic, but it was really nice of her to ask.

And yet despite all these good things, I'm still left with a bad taste in my mouth for the day. I think the part that bothers me most is the incident in my Arabic class. Yes, the thing with the store clerk was annoying, but whatever. The woman wasn't trying to be rude. And yes, my feelings are pretty hurt by what my host mother said, but I know she likes me and would never purposely offend me. I'll get over it.

But the debacle in Arabic...I think it bothers me for two reasons. First and foremost, this is the first time that I have been involved in a major cultural misunderstanding. If I'm going to be inappropriate and offensive, I would at least like to know that I'm doing it! In this instance, one of the other students in class had to whisper an explanation to me after the fact, and I spent the remaining half hour of class with my face bright red, trying not to cry because I was so shocked and confused. I'm also frustrated because it wasn't even really my fault -- I didn't do or say anything wrong, but I still feel responsible somehow.

The second issue is that the professor made such a big deal about the fact that we are American. When the other girl and I stood up to give the presentation, he said, "Ah, les Americaines!" And afterward, he tried to excuse what had happened by explaining that it was merely American humor. No, not fair! When 2 German girls performed their skit, he didn't say, "Ah, les Allemandes!" And if we did something offensive, it was the result of a misunderstanding, not merely because we are American. I realize he was trying to help, but he shouldn't have used that as an excuse.

I'm tired, and therefore I'm not thinking rationally. However, I think I can definitively say that this marks the end of the "honeymoon period" of my "study abroad experience". Even with all the good that has come out of this experience so far (and there has certainly been a lot of good), it can be exhausting. All I want is to blend in! Just 24 hours where I'm not "l'Americaine" and I don't have to think twice before saying or doing anything. I wonder if I can really adapt that much over the next four months?